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Dear Parents, for Your Eyes Only 
ByEdMo   posted on01 Feb, 12 6761 Views 0 Comments Regular Feature Add to favorite

Bonding with your child or children is of vital importance for their overall health – physical, emotional and psychological. Being a parent, understanding the importance of bonding and the methods in which you can bond with your children will help you and your child forge a great relationship. So what is this bonding all about?

Bonding is all about unconditional love for your child. When you bond with your child, you have to develop a mutual emotional connection between the two of you. The way you treat and behave with your child should give him/her a sense of security and comfort and help to establish a sense of closeness between the two of you. You have to help your child to develop his/her self-worth and self-esteem. When real bonding occurs your child begins to feel a sense of belonging to the family.

Bond, but do not over bond

While bonding with your child is of prime importance, it is equally important that you do not carry it to the extreme and over bond with your child. Over bonding can lead to a load of problems, both for you and your child. When you bond too much you feel overly responsible for your child. You may begin to feel a sense of guilt for not providing enough for your child. Or you may spoil your child with lavish gifts. Over bonding may cause your child to become too dependent on you. This over dependence can make your child incapable of developing a sense of individual personality. In this kind of parent-child relationship, the child is neither encouraged nor allowed to accept personal responsibility for his/her personal actions.

Signs of healthy bonding

There are ways in which you can know whether you and your child share a great relationship. Some of the signs of healthy bonding are:

  • You have genuine interest in your child and his/her activities.
  • You hold and touch your child tenderly and affectionately.
  • Your child develops the confidence to take independent decisions.
  • Your child feels secure and comfortable.
  • Your child has a great sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

Levels of bonding

Your response to the needs of your child is an indicator to the level of bonding that you share with your child. Acknowledging your child’s problems and helping him/her cope with it is a sign of normal, healthy bonding. Showing extreme concern, being over protective, feeling guilty and building too much of dependence are all signs of over bonding. If you hardly bother about what your child does or if your child is quiet and withdrawn it can mean there is a lack of bonding between the two of you.

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