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Inculcating Self-regulation Among Children 
ByDr. Jitendrakumar H. Pancholi   posted on01 Mar, 12 5122 Views 0 Comments Personality Development Add to favorite

Once in a Gurukul, the Guru called a disciple who was always at his prayers and said, “When will you stop leaning on God and stand on your own two feet?”

The disciple was astonished and said, “But you are the one who taught us to look on God as Father!”

After listening to the disciple, the Guru replied, “When will you learn that a father is not someone you can lean on, but someone who rids you of your tendency to lean?”

As the story depicts, a well groomed person is self-monitored and believes in, “Discover yourself, be your own light and make your own path”. Our mythological hero Eklavya became one of the best archers following the philosophy of self-learning. According to Singh, S. (2004) Self-regulation is an individual’s commitment to believe, “I can achieve what I want through my determination, I do not easily give up even if I received setbacks, When I have a problem that creates undue tension, I try to relax and gain a feeling of tranquillity so that I can re-evaluate things, When I face a problem I focus on what I can do to solve it, I can adjust very quickly to new challenges, problem and information, I am sensitive to the development in the environment and capture the opportunity there, I am able to anticipate changes, and I plan in advance to encash the opportunities, I am able to handle multiple demands and rapid changes, I am quite flexible in my approach to life and problems, I can frequently anticipate solutions to my problems, When a certain approach to a problem does not work, I can quickly re-orient my thinking, I seek out fresh ideas from a wide variety of sources.”

According to Talaris Research Institute, “There is no magic moment when children become more likely to follow directions. But from around 12 months, something very important happens: they begin to develop the ability to control their urges, change their behaviour, and may start to do what mum or dad says. Not all of the time, of course. But as children grow, so their ability to stop themselves from doing something they want to do (like writing on the walls) and perform tasks that they do not like (picking up their toys), even when parents or caregivers are not around.

The name for this wonderful part of development is ‘self-regulation’ and it is one of the most important milestones of life. Without it, we would have a very hard time functioning, learning lessons in school, playing with friends, or getting along with people in general.”

Children with poor self-regulation are very disruptive, impulsive, inattentive and physically hyper active. They also tend to over react to minor challenges, transitions and other life stressors. According to a research done by Dr. Bruce Perry, “When a child’s capacity for self-regulation does not develop normally, he will be at risk for many problems – from persistent tantrums to impulsive behaviours to difficulty regulating sleep and diet.

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